At this moment..

Its 4am and I'm refusing to slp tho i doze off on my bed earlier on. will be on an overnight flt tml and I need to stay awake in order to be able to start my zoo tour on sun in melbourne. therefore, sleeping late tonite means i'll wake up late tml. weird logic of mine rite?

afterall, i'm having the weirdest sleeping time now so its ok.

work has been pretty good for me. had my 4th check during my Cairo flt and I got better scores than my previous check. was given majority 70% with a few 80% too as compared to my previous checks of mainly 60%.

3rd mth into my job and i'm due to go back STC for a review with my ward leader soon. New roster is delayed again (as usual) and god knows where i will be going.

hope to get Japan flts cos I've got so many things tat i wana buy from there!! Muji bags, Burberry Blue Label, Fancl and definitely an authentic Japanese meal!!

Will be doing a HKG-SFO flt next wk and I smell a new Coach bag coming along soon!! keke =p Plus Ambercombie plus American Eagle plus Levis perhaps??? Gosh.. think i'm gonna burst my allowance all on shopping. I heard the location of our hotel is just in the midst of the shopping mall. OMG~

But well, its my first time to SFO so definitely I'll spend more. Afterall, as wad every1 always says, when 1 starts flying initially, she's bound to spend more especially if its the first time to tat station.

I forsee clubbing in HKG since its gonna be over the wkend tat i get 2 clear days off. Afterall, every crew says tat such a flt definitely will have ppl jioing clubbing. The thought of cute hongkie guys in suits simply turns me on.

I jus fall weak over guys in suits!!! They jus look so cute!!! OMG OMG!!

Anyway, I'm still thinking abt wad happen few days back and it still cant get off from my mind. I know tat *E* is really impossible and i shld really stop dwelling on it but i realli care alot for him.

He's still pretty cold towards me at times now and i hate it when he sends misleading words and actions to me.

Ivan asked me if i realli like him cos he cant sense it when i talk to him abt *E*. He says perhaps I'm lacking of love and more of seeking a companion rather than reali in love with him.

Wads love? I think im forgetting it already.

Its been a long time since I do things a gf shld do.

But tat day, after hearing him mention he feels like eating xiao long bao, the next day i went to get it from Crystal Jade to his place for him.

Imagine, I cab from my place to Jurong Point than to his place jus to pass him the xiao long bao and noodles i bought for him. I even bought him a sunflower to cheer him up.

The last time i did such a thing was like 4 yrs back when I was with Ivan!! Even with Joseph, I've never done anything so sweet.

*E* often says tat I'm not gentle and attentive enough as a gf and it certainly caught him by surprise tat day but i'm not reali sure if he appreciates it anot cos from wad i know, he always has gals doing such sweet things for him so its not something unusal. haizz

The *E* tat I care for. I just love this pic of ours. Looks so sweeeet rite?

Nevertheless, I've set my mind to stop dwelling on him and to really move on.

Our first pic taken sometime back.

I open myself up more now to meet new people. Perhaps its always true to say tat we need someone new to replace the old. haha.. kinda unfair to the new person but tats life. nothing is ever fair.

mayb the problem lies in me? i tink so.

apparently, some gals are able to get into a r/s very soon after they break up. 2 of my poly frens are such a case. they ended their many yrs of r/s but shortly after, they get into a new one.

but me? ended a bad r/s 1 1/2 yrs ago but until now, I'm still single.

I guess the problem really lies in me.

Maybe its time to go to bed now.