Mixed Feelings.....

Outta the blue, I thought of my ex-bf. The one and only guy tat I still think of every now and then despite 5 yrs ever since we broke up.

He was 24 when I got together with him and I was only 18 back then. But right now, I'm 24 and he's already 30.

I had the strong urge to look him up at his place but I dont have the courage. I reali wana meet up with him to see how is he getting on.

Not tat I miss him, not tat I wana get back with him.

All I wan is to c how is he getting on and to remain in contact as friends with him.

Afterall, he was once the one guy who reali loved and cared for him from the bottom of his heart. Bcos of my stubborness and arrogance, I gave up this wonderful guy.

5 yrs have passed but I've yet to find the second wonderful guy in my life.

Not tat I've been single for 5 yrs, nor have I not dated anyone all this while.

But, whoever guy tat I meet now just doesnt fit the ideal guy in my heart. He was the benchmark and no1 has been able to go beyond this benchmark.

Despite the short period of 1 1/2yrs r/s, we simply had way too many memories between us.

Good and bad, we had it all. Sweet and bitterness, we been thru all.

He really marks an important chapter of my life which will always stand a significant place in me.

Till now, I am still going to the hawker centre at his neighbourhood for this once 80cent noodles which have increase to $1.00 now.

I brought different friends there whenever they ask me for suggestion for supper.

There is nothing great or fascinating abt this noodle but it is a bowl of noodles with love and memories.

Whenever I go to the stall, the auntie will know tat I'm there for that noodles.

As usual, I went there last nite for supper or rather early breakfast and the auntie gave me a generous portion of noodles and all the other ingredients. She even added chicken for me.

Afterall this yrs, I am still going to that stall and i know I will still go to that stall as long as it is still around.

I reckon tat its jus a way for me to hold him in my memories.

If given a chance now, I reali hope I can have dinner with him one day.

He may have gotten married and have kids nw but I still hope tat I can c have him bac as a good fren even thou our time table may have lotsa differences.....