What is going on?!

I realise im still feeling so terribly blue this few days. Is the emo still in me?! I dUnno!! I jus so wish it goes away from me!! WTH~

Hope its not depression kicking in!! =(

I guess im starting to feel lonely at times. Yeah~ The fear of loneliness puts me off. Many times, i wish i can be appreciated bt most of the times, i fail.

What is the problem with me? My face, my character, my personality, my lifestyle, my behaviour, my ???!!! I reali dunno wads wrong with me.

I believe my 'ben xing' is gd cos im truthful n sincere to ppl ard me. I'm not a hypocrite by talking and befriending u while hating u to the core n talking behind ur back. If u r nice to me, i will be nicer to u. If u r nasty to me, i will be very upset but after sometime, i will still forgive n forget.

But, i knw its not up to me to judge myself. Its always others judging u. I guess the impression i give others is im very happening, very flirty, very cannot-settle-down kinda gal.

Yah.. its saddening to knw tat but whenever ppl ask me where i party over the wkend and i say im home, they look at me with dis-believing eyes which i dunno y. I can realli be pretty homely at times too!!

I'm in the mood for love and wants to love n be loved!! Yet, no1 seems to be sincere n truthful enuff to love me and be loved by me!! argh~

I dun tink im despo but im reali tired. Tired of always meeting the wrong ppl and wasting my time n emotions. Mayb im nt destined to be loved. I hate being treated like a toy whereby i can jus be not taken seriously.

I guess i've grown up over the years ba. Having gone thru so much shit, shldn i start to grow up in the least bit?

Perhaps its time to make money now. I realise i'm running dry. Yes, jazzy baby is squeezing me dry. Without him, i will definitely be much richer but i'm not a deep well with endless water to drink. I'm running dry now and there are jus so many expenses on hand. Looks like i need to keep away all my CC and jus use cash.

I'm looking with envy of my frens able to spend freely as they wan and gg holidays but i can jus look. haizz..

Can God drop money down for me??!

Can God drop a gd guy down for me?!?

Can God drop gd colleagues down for me?!?!

Haizz..

If onli God can..

=(